Tag Archives: Love

7 Proven Parenting Tips

7 proven Parenting Tips

7 proven Parenting Tips

The toughest job… takes courage and strength

The most rewarding job… full of joy and sorrow

On-the-job training… once you think you have it figured out; things change

No instruction manuals… never know what to do

What is your goal as a parent?

Mine is, and always has been, to raise independent, responsible, young men.

I love being a mother. I would have been content living the life of June Cleaver, but I was blessed with the life of Christi Weems; mom of Garrett and Austin Weems. Garrett is the child who always challenged me and felt as though rules were to be broken. Did I mention Garrett is a ginger? Austin is my obedient child who speaks very little, but when he does, he speaks with wisdom and humor.  We have had our peaks and valleys and I have made plenty of bad decisions. I felt as though I should share some methods that have been proven to effective over the years.

  • Allow them to be who they are; not who you want them to be.

The hardest lesson that must be learned as a parent. This one took me years to figure out and caused a lot of heartache in our home. All I ever wanted to be was “football mom” and I was granted the experience for one high school season. Football was not the boys’ passion; it was mine. I had to let it go and let them be themselves. Garrett found his passion with electronics and graphic design. He began his graphic design career at the age of sixteen and opened his own company at seventeen. Austin is a freshman in high school and has yet to find his passion. Recently, he built his own gaming computer. It may be safe to say that gaming is in his future.

  • Live by example.

I cannot expect the boys to do something that I wouldn’t do myself.  I have always worked hard, treated people kindly, and lived with integrity which is exactly what I expect from them. I am raising boys to be men without a male role model. It is important to me for them to have good manners. I will stop at a door and wait for them to open it for me. I explain to them that a woman wants to date a gentleman and gentlemen have manners.

  • Use your words to build them up; not tear them down.

The world is tough enough on children without parents breaking them down at home. Each day, I tell the boys, “You are a champion. I am proud of you. Make good choices.” I place inspirational notes in their lunches periodically. My heart crushes when I hear a parent call their child, “stupid” even if they’re only joking. Those words linger in your child’s head and heart for years.

  • Be hard on them.

The price they pay as children and teenagers is much less than what they’ll pay as adults in society. Any time I received calls from teachers or administrators my response was always, “Be harder on my child than you would be any others.” When Garrett was making bad choices in high school, the assistant principal worked with me to create harsh consequences for his actions. After he suffered the consequences, he straightened up and I did not have any more problems. When they were toddlers, I carried a wooden spoon in my purse; I was never afraid to use it. As they got older, I learned a special pinch on their arm did the trick. Spanking your children may be against your beliefs, but I know it worked for mine.

  • Allow them to fail.

This is heartbreaking to watch, but it is necessary to happen. Garrett did not have a good relationship with one of his Spanish teachers. Garrett has never understood the concept of respecting your elders. In his eyes, you had to earn his respect despite your age. He did not respect her for reasons unknown. After multiple emails, phone calls, and conferences, I realized this was a life lesson for Garrett.  It was tough for me to see him fail, as a teacher, I cringed. I hate seeing students who are fully capable not succeed solely because they are not willing to work. I emailed the teacher the following, “Garrett is a young adult and has to learn from his actions.  I cannot sweep in and do this for him. He has to face the consequences of his actions.” He failed Spanish and had to repeat it the following year. The learning lesson took place about a year later. The first semester he was out of a school an hour early each day, but the second semester he had to stay the extra hour each day to retake Spanish.

  • Give them responsibilities.

We divide all the chores in the house by three and we each do our own part. I cannot do it all on my own and they have to understand what it takes to manage a household. If one of us doesn’t do our part, the house cannot function smoothly. They each do their own laundry. I’m not saying they always do things perfectly or the way I would do it, however,  if I don’t allow them to do things, the will not learn. It’s okay if the towels aren’t folded perfect. I allow them to cook, but I probably should be teaching them cooking skills more regularly. Culinary techniques are not my specialty; therefore, this is an area we could all use some improvement. I also sit down with them to discuss the monthly budget. Often times, they would rewash a load of laundry instead of folding the clothes and putting them away (which infuriated me.) After we discussed the electricity and water bill, this routine concluded.

  • Love Unconditionally.

Love unconditionally is affection without any conditions. Do your children know you love them without any conditions?   Your children must know they are loved despite their behaviors. We create their safe haven by the love we provide.

Raising boys to be men without a man around has been a tough, but rewarding journey.  I am proud of the men my boys have become. Parenting is my favorite job and I have made my share of mistakes. Punishing your children and telling them no may be painful at the moment, but prevents future pain.  My boys are not perfect and they are still learning but they make my life complete. I hope this encourages you to speak words of encouragement to your children today! Believe in yourself because you are doing a great job!!

Rock ‘n’ Roll New Orleans

Rock ‘n’ Roll New Orleans

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Rock ‘n’ Roll New Orleans’ weekend began with reuniting with several lifelong friends as we celebrated the life of a classmate. It was a bittersweet time. The funeral was nice and then we all met for lunch which was great. It was nice to reconnect and reminisce. I feel blessed to have so many lifelong friends and for us to come together to remember our dear friend.

I met Lisa in North Dallas and we ventured off in a Chrysler 200 rental car. The rental car was a great idea for $54 we were able to put wear and tear on someone else’s car. About midnight, we decided to rent a room to rest and finish the drive tomorrow. Seems like an easy task… Right? I called the reservation number for Days Inn, but when we got to the hotel they didn’t have our reservation and the front desk clerk wasn’t willing to go out of her way to book a room for us. So, we decide to go to the next town. When we arrive, same thing; no reservation from the reservation number. This front desk clerk was very helpful, but the area looked shady and we decide to go on. We go across the street to Red Roof Inn and the shady action in the front office set us on our way one more time. Finally, after seven tries, we find a hotel that was ok to sleep for a few hours. On Saturday morning, we complete the drive to New Orleans and eat at Deanie’s which was fabulous. I had the best BBQ shrimp. It was a gorgeous day with sunshine and perfect temperatures as we walk to the NOLA convention center for packet pick-up and expo. We check into the hotel and spend more time in NOLA eating, drinking, and people watching. We are at Masapero’s. We had the best waitress and great shrimp and catfish. Lisa has red beans with rice and jambalaya. We closed the evening with a stop at Cafe Du Monde for beignets.

Sunday morning, we parked the car near the finish line and ride the shuttle to the start line. Rock ‘n’ Roll series are always overpopulated and it was NOLA where everyone wants to hang out. I know there were at least 22 corrals. Lisa was in 6 and I was in 13. There was a light drizzle as we waited and prepared for the race with a last minute stop at the porta potty… One the not so glamorous parts of the race. 22 minutes passed before corral 13 crossed the start line and since corral 1 crossed the start line.

I had decided to dedicate this race to my friend who had passed away. Before I crossed the start line, emotions flooded me and tears began to flow. 13.1 miles in 2 hours 30 minutes were spent praying for Jason, his family, and my classmates. I was able to reminisce and strategize ideas to help the family and my classmates. My heart still aches to think of life without him and for his family. I will never understand these types of situations in life.

At mile 10 of Rock ‘n’ Roll New Orleans, I felt great and felt I could PR. There was a consistent light drizzle throughout the race. I didn’t PR and was frustrated with myself when I finished with the same time as the precious races when it was a flat course. Lisa PR’d with 2:09.

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After the race, we showered and rested before returning to NOLA for more food and drink. We ate at New Orleans hamburger and seafood and then Jester’s for the best drink. We were able to watch the Super Bowl at Jester’s. While at Jester’s, we met Christy, Kailey, and Mickey with Race Addicts. Race Addicts  is an app for organizing your races.
I use the app and follow them on Facebook.

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I was excited to met them and they featured me on their page. We hung out with them the remainder of the evening. They were tons of fun and the highlight of the trip. I will meet up with them again in October in Key West in October for the SOMO half.

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Rock ‘n’ Roll New Orleans was race 5 of 40 in 2014 to celebrate my 40th birthday.

We returned home on Monday for me to leave on Tuesday for Austin to attend a technology conference for teachers.

 

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I don’t understand

I don’t understand.

I spent today with several lifelong friends as we celebrated the life of a classmate. This week has been emotionally draining.

I don’t understand how in the blink of an eye he was gone. So many emotions flee through me and I don’t understand. I never expected this. I took for granted the days that he was here. If only I had one more day, I would not take it for granted.
I don’t understand how life can be complicated and simple at the same time.

I had known Jason since sixth grade and different stages of life we had seen each other more than others. Over the last few years, we communicated more and saw each other more often. He told us two weeks ago, he had cancerous tumor, he was having surgery, and he would be fine. He played it off as the worst part was missing a Randy Rogers concert.

Jason went in for surgery on January 27, 2014 and things did not go well. He was resuscitated, spent many hours on the operating table, and passed away the next day. He left behind there children and hundreds of friends. He touched so many lives and was an amazing man, father, and friend.

Several of his lifelong friends meet at the church for the funeral and lunch afterwards. We were all happy to see each other, but not in these circumstances.

We do not know what tomorrow brings. It is important to tell the ones who are special that you love them and live life to the fullest.

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The Pieces of My Shattered Heart- Guest Blogger

The pieces of my shattered heart are lying in the sun.

Warming to the hopeful chance of finding love again.

Convalescing.

Recharging.

Rejuvenating.

 

Knowing there’s an arrow poised to pierce this heart of mine.

Bursting with a renewed purpose, splendid and divine.

Bountiful.

Exquisite.

Prolific.

My baby turns 14 today!

My baby turns 14 today!My baby turns 14 today!

My baby turns 14 today and it has not been your typical birthday celebration kind of day. Austin is my youngest son and he turned 14.  He is an incredible, young man and excels in school and on the football field. He was born with a hole in his lung which made his first few weeks of life difficult.  He is alive and well and doing great.  I have had the opportunity to teach in the middle school where he attends and realize that he will be leaving in about 17 weeks to attend high school which makes me sad.  I am blessed to have time with him each day driving him to and from school and to have been at school for him when he needed me.  He will tell you that he is happy about going to a school where I am not there.

The day started as a normal day as we prepared for school and started on our way (I did make cupcakes and our dog spared three of them from his breakfast counter surfing) until I was called into the hallway by the assistant principal.  My baby boy who rarely got in trouble was under the radar for the assistant principal, but it was more of a concern about some of the other boys sitting at his lunch table.  Thank God… it was a close call. I continue on with UIL activities to get a call from the high school principal about my oldest son. The high school principal and I have a relationship since he has had to call me a few times.   Yes, my oldest has been the source of several of the sparkles in my hair.  Needless to say, he keeps my life interesting and he has entrepreneur skills.  The high school principal explains to me that Garrett has been making fake parking passes and selling him. He continues to tell me that they are the best he has ever seen and that he did a good job.  He will have to return the student’s money and attend Saturday school.  My oldest excels in computer graphics and sales.  I can honestly say, I have never  Oh wow… it is only 4 pm.

We are home for a couple of hours and we all took a nap; it had already been an exhausting Monday. My baby turns 14 and we are spending the evening preparing him for high school at  a meeting  to prepare for his courses for the upcoming year.  He had to opportunity to look at the different options and meet the head football coach. The school he will attend has won back to back state championships for football and my son is excited about the football program. We braved the cold, ran to the car, and headed to Chili’s for dinner… his fave.

Upon arriving at home and preparing for bed, I learn that a lifelong friend had complications from surgery, had been resuscitated, and was not doing well.  I did not sleep well and was concerned all night.  I reflected on life, counted my blessings, and reminisced about our times together while chatting with other lifelong friends.  I realized life is a gift and the small things like calls from principals don’t really matter in the big picture.  Remember to tell those who are close to you that you love them, embrace the moments you have together and always have a heart of gratitude.

Ways to Pray for Your Spouse

Ways to Pray for Your Spouse

Sunday

  • That he might become a hold many, a man of prayer, mature in the Lord, growing in his knowledge of God.  (1 Thes. 5:23; Col 4:12; Eph. 6:18; Eph. 1:18-19; Eph. 3:16-19)

  • That he might daily seek God with all his heart, walking in the Spriirt moment by moment, growing in his dependence on Him. (Psalm 119:1-2; Psalm 27:4; Proverbs 3:5-6; John 15:5)

Monday

  • That he might learn to take every thought captive, to not be conformed to the world’s thinking and to think scripturally. (Romans 12:2; II cor. 10:5)

  • That he would learn to not depend on his circumstances for happiness, but on God alone. (Hab. 3:17-19)

Tuesday

  • That he might have  new strength in the midst of his busy schedule and that the Lord might infuse him with His strength (Is. 40:31; Eph. 3:14-19)

  • That his self-image might be a reflection of the Lord’s thoughts toward him. (Eph. 1:17-19; james 1:5-7)

Ways to Pray for Your Spouse

Wednesday

  • That he might become a called man, not driven, with well thought-through and prayed-through goals in life (I Cor. 9:24-27)

  • That the Lord might give him wisdom to lead his family physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. (Eph. 1:17-19; James 1:5-7)

Thursday

  • That he might stand firm against the schemes of the devil and resist Satan in all circumstances. (Eph. 6:10-18; James 4:7)

  • That he might not be deceived into unbelief or sin (Gal. 6:7)

Ways to Pray for Your Spouse

Friday

  • That the fruit of the Spirit might be exhibited more and more in his life (Galatians 5:22-23)

  • That he might learn to love as God has commanded. (1 Cor. 13:4-7; Romans 12:8-10)

Saturday

  • That the Lord might protect him, guarding his course. (Proverbs 2:8)

  • That he might learn to manage his time well. (Eph 5:15)

The ACTS of Prayer

The ACTS of Prayer

What do you think of when you hear the word “prayer?”

Do you pray? Do you want others praying for you?

I believe in the power of prayer and make it part of my daily life whether it is short prayers throughout the day or a longer session of journaling in my prayer journal.   I have used a prayer journal for twelve (ish) years now and I love to reflect over the years how God answered the prayers.  Whether he answered in what I thought was the right answer or not, I am blessed by the lessons and people in my life throughout this journey of life.  I have learned to find joy in the journey.

Adoration

Initiate prayer with adoration of the Father: proclaiming His name and praising His greatness.

Matthew 6:9 “Pray, then, in this way: Our Father who art in heaven hallowed be Thy name.”

Confession

Provide time for God to reveal any sin in your life so that you may confess it and return to a right relationship with Him.

Psalm 139:23- 24 “Search me, O God and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.”

Thanksgiving

Take time to thank God for what He has done in your life and for what he has given you.

Psalm 126:3 “The Lord has done great things for us; we are glad.”

 

Supplication

Ask God for your needs and desires, including intercessory prayer for others.

Philippians 4:6 “Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplications with thanksgiving let your request be made known to God.”

 

ACTS is an acronym for Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving and Supplication.  ACTS is a guide for your daily prayer life. This acronym has helped me with my daily prayer life and I hope it is helpful for you too. The next few days, my blog will be about prayer.  I will have post for praying for your spouse, family, friends, church, and leaders.

 

 

40 Days of Giving

40 Days of Giving

 

 2014 is my 40th celebration of life and I am living it up 40 style.  It started with reading the “Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren for forty days followed by 40 days of  Giving and  a plan of 40 Half Marathons throughout the year.  I will finish “Purpose Driven Life” on February 9 and will begin the 40 Days of Giving on February 10 to March 21.  I am excited about the 40 Days of Giving because it will be during Valentine’s Day and my birthday month which is my favorite time of the year.

I am choosing 40 people who make an impact in my daily life and carefully creating small, special gifts to bless each person with during the 40 days of giving. It is going to be difficult to narrow it down to 40 because I love to give. Ideas of people to include in the 40 people are family, friends, my son’s teachers, mail carrier, service providers, fireman, policemen, pastor, and/ or strangers as a pay it forward gesture of kindness.   I am searching Pinterest for unique, affordable gift ideas, gift cards, unique gifts while out shopping.  I also have a Google form of favorite things that will help me with favorite colors, snacks, and such.

I am excited to give 40 gifts to 40 people in 40 days.  I know it is going to take planning and work to put it all together, but I know it will be worth it.  My love language  (http://www.5lovelanguages.com/) is gifts and I know not all people love gifts the way I do, but I will enjoy giving. I will update you on the 40 Days of Giving when it takes place.

Today, I challenge you to take a day during February 10 to March 21 to give a gift to someone who impacts your daily life and share with me.

40 Days of Giving